Thursday, December 18, 2014

Tribute to Tucker

As I sit down to write this I have so many emotions.  Writing helps.  Writing makes me feel like I can process my thoughts a bit. 

Today was a really tough day.  Like, the toughest I can remember.  I don't think I have ever cried as much as I did today.

Today we had to make the aweful decision to put Tucker to sleep.   Today I fed him for the last time, pet him for the last time, looked into those big brown eyes for the last time, and held him for the last time.

Over the past several months, Tucker has been getting more "defensively aggressive", meaning that when he is startled or confused about people's intentions he has started to snap.  It culminated after an unpleasant encounter with our vet at his routine check-up.  At that point, it became all too clear what needed to happen for the safety of the precious kids living in our house as well as those we come into contact with. 

Today was so hard.  SO hard.

Despite his behaviors in the past few months, I will choose to remember him as the sweet, loving, never-hurt-a-fly dog we adopted five years ago .

Today, I will choose to remember his loyalty that would follow me anywhere I would go and wait endlessly for me at the bottom of any staircase I ascended or door I exited from.

I will choose to remember his crazy energy that had him vertically jumping half the height of door when he needed to go outside and do his business.

I will choose to remember how he was the first one to make baby Summer laugh by scrambling up and down the basement stairs.

I will choose to remember the way he held his bed in his mouth and dragged it all over to be wherever we were.

I will choose to remember how he cleaned up after the kids so I didn't have to sweep after mealtime.

I will choose to remember him as my marathon training buddy, running sixteen miles in a day with energy to spare.

I will choose to remember how he would take off running in circles for no reason and make us all laugh.

I will choose to remember how he was our little reindeer, pulling the single, double, and then triple jogger as I pushed from behind.

I will choose to remember how he curled up in such a tight little ball inside his very small bed.

I will choose to remember how he lived for popcorn, and had such a focused stare while we ate.

We have so many great memories with Tucker and he was definitely a member of our family with a Christmas stocking just like the rest of us.  He was one-of-a-kind (no one who knew him would debate that!) and we are grateful for the time we got to spend with him.  The house feels pretty empty and quiet without this little guy. 


Jill said...

Sweet, sweet tribute, Kel. I was blessed to share this day with all of you and it hurt my heart to see you all hurting so much. We love you all and are praying for you. Definitely, Tucker was a one-of-a-kind and we were all privileged to love him.

The Baum Family said...

I'm so sad for you guys, Kel.

Kristin Bjorklund said...

I loved that little dog so much, Tuck-a-luck, Tuckles, Tuck Tuck Goose. <3. Missing him and praying for you guys. Love you all.

The Mac-Trans said...

So sorry to hear this Kel! Prayers of comfort to you & your family!! xo

The O'Connor Family said...

So sorry to hear. Thinking of you guys and praying for you too! Hugs!

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